I dunno what it was, really... When I got back to Japan, I already had a liking for Hekiru's appearance, and I remember that I was considering going to her concert half-seriously. Near the end of January, I met up with Hitoshi and co. for some shopping. I mentioned that I was thinking about Hekiru's concert, but Hitoshi was like, "Forgot it. You won't be able to get tickets unless you know someone." That same day, I saw the Baby blue eyes ad poster in a CD store. It wasn't the first time I saw it, I think, but for some reason, that day, I suddenly fell in love with the picture. I wanted the poster. A lot. I was thinking, "Is it possible to get the poster without needing to get the new CD?" (Since I was afraid of her singing and didn't want to waste the money if I didn't need to. ^^) Of course, I didn't know then, but it's a promo poster, not one that comes with a CD. So basically it's not something that a person can ordinarily get because it is only sent to stores for advertising purposes. In any case, I was very taken with the poster so I several days later I asked my handy-dandy local LD store owner for the store's copy. He was like, uh, well, the CD just came out and there are a lot of people who want to too... So I didn't get the poster right away. But the want didn't go away, just got stronger, as did the temptation to buy Baby blue eyes. You see, after that day of shopping, I had begun hitting webpages for pictures of and information about Hekiru. I was quite disappointed with the majority of pages, but there was K2's Shiina Hekiru Home Page. It had a hitonari section that contains all sorts of tidbits about Hekiru's character and her doings and stuff over the years. It was a wonderful read, and I began to learn a lot more about Hekiru. And as I found out, I began to fall in love with Hekiru, deeper and deeper. Few things really move me to tears, or make my heart ache in anguish or emotion. For some reason, Hekiru is one of those things. (An example of another is the scene when the robot gives Sheeta flowers in Laputa, which is why it is my favourite Miyazaki movie.) Reading about Hekiru, suddenly she was transformed from my former presumption of a talentless hack who got to her level of popularity through her looks and some behind-the-scenes wheeling and dealing, to a girl who was incredibly strong, who knew what she wanted, who worked tremendously to get there, and who kept striving and striving. Yes... It was the part about her making her dream of performing at Budoukan come through, and her promising to return. "This is where it begins." Those words wrenched at my heart and brought me close to tears. That was when I truly became a Hekiru fan. So much for the melodramatic. The rest of my fall can be deduced from my Journal. What I find interesting is how a lot of things stemmed from coincidence, such as finding that Starting Legend '97 ~Todoketai Omoi~ pamphlet at Mandarake when I wasn't even looking for Hekiru stuff, or walking into the LD store and meeting someone who sold me a ticket. Or that Hekiru was putting out a new CD just when my interest was starting up. In fact. I don't think I could have become a Hekiru fan any earlier. First obstacle would have been not being in Japan. Other factors include her rather poor first three albums (I like them a lot, but I would have disdained them a year or three ago). Also, this Hekiru obsession came during a lull in my anime phase. Perfect timing, almost. In addition, this was a time that my life was undergoing a rather big change. Before, I had a pretty narrow view on life... Could only see one future for myself, which was to go home after a year in Japan and work. But with the Asian crisis, and the experience of living in yet another country and meeting very different types of people from those I had known until then, I was starting to contemplate alternatives. I was also fighting loneliness, and was depressed with my lack of progress in improving my Japanese. I was looking for a new direction for my life. So I think that was part of the reason why those anecdotes about Hekiru's struggles and ambitions and triumphs affected me so strongly. Since becoming a fan, I've drawn a great deal of strength, energy, encouragement, and drive from Hekiru. Of course, there are also times when I am extremely frustrated, when I just want to get away from liking Hekiru so much, but in general she has been a profound positive impact on me. I've tried to be more outgoing, to be more "can do", to try try try because, hey, there's nothing to lose. And it's paid off. I've made Japanese friends, interacted with some very interesting people through my research, and learned a lot of things. I'm much happier now than I was 4 or 5 months ago. Listening to her radio shows, my Japanese has improved and I have learned a lot about a segment of Japanese culture and society that I doubt I would have been able to touch otherwise. It's great practice writing postcards, or reading articles and interviews. And in making this page, I've taught myself enough html that it has become a major asset in ye ol' jobhunt. Arigatou, Hekiru-chan! Okay! Enough of the introduction! Let's move on to what I love about Hekiru. What makes her so awesome? Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder... Everything strictly in my humble modest opinion. ^^;;

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